Deadly Desires
by ExLibris3
Summary: Jenny gets company in her misery after the kidnapping. But can she handle the situation? Will her loneliness make her do something she might regret? And will it be too late to take it back when the harm is done? Femmeslash.
1. Chapter 1

_**Title:**__** Deadly Desires**_

_**Genre**__**: Femmeslash**_

_**Categories: Angst, drama, romance, smut**_

_**Rating:**__** PG-13 – NC-17**_

_**Pairing: Jenny/Ziva**_

_**Spoilers for Jeopardy and Hiatus**_

_**Summary:**__** Jenny gets company in her misery after the kidnapping. But can she handle the situation? Will her loneliness make her do something she might regret? And will it be too late to take it back when the harm is done?**_

Jenny rushed through her house, cursing to herself at whoever it was at the door. _'I told you I'm fine, damn it! Really, I'm fine Jethro!' _ She thought. Unfortunately he was not a mind reader, and she couldn't telepathically plant her thought into his mind. She really just needed to be alone right now. And she really was fine. Though the empty wine bottle and the big box of chocolate might convince people otherwise. She pulled her fingers through her short red hair as she stumbled toward the door. The ring of the door bell echoed through the house again.

"I'm coming," she muttered, unlocking the front door and opened it. "I already told you…" she had raised her voice, her tone full of annoyance. Then the words had stuck in her throat.

"Told me what?" Ziva David replied where she stood outside Jenny's house.

"I – I… Nothing…I thought you were…" Jenny stuttered. All night she'd expected Gibbs to come check up on her, it was just something she'd always known him for doing. But as the hours had passed, it was now after ten, she'd realized he was not to come. She didn't know if she should be disappointed or relieved. The fact that she really did want some company she had been hiding from herself. But when she'd occasionally admitted it to herself she wasn't sure Gibbs was the company she needed right now. She didn't want to talk, she just needed someone. A shoulder to rest her head against. Be able to fall into someone's embrace without having to hear questions about it. Gibbs wouldn't understand she just needed someone for the night; she didn't want to dig up her old feelings for him. Those she'd buried deep inside her heart the day she became Director.

"Can I come in? It's freezing out here, besides, I figured you could use some company" Ziva's voice brought her back to reality. Still slightly distracted, she stepped aside, allowing the young Israeli to enter her house. She hung up her jacket and then turned to take in the full sight of her old friend. _'Oh dear. Old NCIS sweatshirt, sweatpants, hair in a complete mess…And, I'd say she's been drinking, a lot. Good thing I decided to stop by then'_

"How are you doing, Jen?" she asked softly. Jenny stood in the doorway leading into the living room, her back against the door post and her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm fine Ziva. Really, you didn't have to come all this way just to check up on me," she answered and beckoned for her guest to follow her into the living room. Ziva's gaze swept across the room, taking in the empty wine bottle confirming her suspicion she'd been drinking, the open box of chocolate and the thick cotton blanket she'd been resting under before the sound of the door bell had forced her to leave it.

"You could have just called," Jenny mumbled, dropping down heavily onto the couch again.

"I tried, but your cell was turned off, and I couldn't get through to your home phone," Ziva replied, still standing by the coffee table.

"Oh, right," Jenny leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes. _'That would have been to keep Jethro, or anyone else, away'_

"You're not fine," Ziva observed. Jenny listened to the sound of her heels against the wooden floor when she stepped around the couch.

"I am," Jenny sighed, though there was not much in her voice that could have Ziva convinced that was the case. She sounded defeated. She felt it when the other woman sank down onto the couch next to her.

"Don't lie to me, Jen. I am your friend, and I'm here for you if you wanna talk," Ziva's soft voice reached her ears. Being so close to another body woke something up deep inside of her. A feeling. A feeling holding powers that were beyond her mind to control. A feeling that told her what she desired, _needed,_ in order to forget what she'd been through. Forget the fear she'd felt. Throughout this day she'd been able to keep her head cool because of her faith in Gibbs, and his team. But, there had been a moment, when she'd thought they had abandoned her, left her to die. She knew NCIS did not negotiate with criminals, but she'd also known Gibbs would've found a way to rescue her. And he had. Though during this evening, her mind had formed a scenario of what could have happened today. If she hadn't said the code to Gibbs over the phone, or if he hadn't cracked it. Or if he'd missed his shot…

Jenny suddenly felt Ziva's thumb brush against her cheek. Brushing away the tears that had begun to fall. She opened her eyes and stared into Ziva's dark eyes.

"I don't want to talk," she whispered, withdrawing from the other woman. She pulled up her knees against her chest and her vulnerability showed. Ziva was shocked; she'd never seen her like this. She'd worked anti-terrorism operations with this woman, even saved her life. But she'd never gotten to know Jenny's vulnerable side.

"Okay, we don't have to talk," Ziva gave in and leaned back in the couch next to her. "I just thought I'd keep you company…" she glanced at Jenny, and when she didn't get any response, she leaned forward to take a chocolate out of the box. Jenny picked up on her movement and her eyes followed as Ziva's hand brought the chocolate to her mouth. She watched as her lips parted and her teeth sank into the candy. She had to look away.

"This is not the company I need," Jenny whispered, drawing Ziva's attention to herself. She had an almost painful expression in her eyes as she looked at Ziva. Ziva bent forward toward her, carefully studying her friends face.

"Then what do you need?" she asked softly, her heart pounding hard against her ribcage, waiting…

"Please leave," Jenny breathed, "I can't ask this of you," she turned her head away, trying to escape her piercing look, right now she was worse than Gibbs.

"You know I'd do anything for you, Jen," Ziva replied, withdrawing herself from her. _"Anything!" _she let out in the faintest of whispers. Then she rose from the couch. "But if you want me to, I'll go," she made an attempt to turn away, but she froze in her movement when she felt Jenny's hand slip into hers, preventing her from going. She sent her a puzzled look as she too rose from the couch, standing up in front of her.

"Then help me forget," Jenny whispered, leaning forward and closing her mouth around Ziva's soft lips. Her hands flew up to her cheek, holding her steady as she gave her a heated kiss. Ziva was caught off guard by Jenny's sudden move, but quickly responded to her inner desires and wrapped her arms around her body. Jenny's heart took a jolt when she realized Ziva was not going to pull away from her. She felt her tongue deep inside her mouth, caressing hers and exploring every corner of her mouth. At last, Jenny had to pull away due to lack of breath; she rested her forehead against Ziva's as she inhaled deeply, hearing nothing else but Ziva's deep breaths.

"Anything, Jenny, and I mean anything," Ziva assured her, moving her head until her mouth found the skin in her neck. Jenny moaned deeply as her lips left a burning trail across her skin.

"_I know!" _she moaned, feeling Ziva's hands slipping underneath her sweatshirt, beginning to pull it off. Her lips lost contact with her skin as she threw the shirt over Jenny's head. Underneath she wore a white tank top, the shape of her breasts visible through the fabric as she was not wearing a bra. Ziva forced her to go backwards until her legs hit against the couch, making her knees buckle and they fell down in a heap onto the couch.

Ziva's body rested on top of Jenny's and both women felt their desire for the other one rush through their veins. She put her hands on either side of Jenny's head, resting her body above hers.

"Jen, are you sure about this? What about Gibbs?" Ziva asked, much as she desired Jenny right now, she needed to be sure they would not regret doing this.

"What about him?" she shrugged, placing her hands on Ziva's shoulders.

"Is there anything between you guys? He seemed awfully worried about you today,"

"Between me and Jethro? It hasn't been anything for years," Jenny let out a little laugh, and then became more serious, adding, "He cannot give me what I need right now…"

"And, what is it that you need?" Ziva was grinning now, her gaze traveling down Jenny's chest.

"I need to know I'm not alone," she continued in the same serious tone of voice, "Jethro would never settle with just one night, it would just make our relationship even more complicated. But with you, I know where I'm standing. With you I don't feel alone,"

"Are you sure it's not just the wine talking?" Ziva teased, glancing toward the empty bottle.

Jenny chose not to reply, another feeling had begun to grow inside of her, but instead of embracing it, she pushed it away, ignoring it. She reached up her hand to her neck and pulled her down into a kiss.

Ziva reached out her hand toward the chocolate box and picked up a piece of chocolate. Jenny watched with interest and wondered what she was going to do with it. With a mischievous smile on her lips, Ziva placed the chocolate in her open mouth, pulling up Jenny's head to meet her in a kiss. The chocolate melted slowly between their tongues, slipping from Ziva's mouth into Jenny's and back. The taste of chocolate mixed with the hint of wine from Jenny. While engaged in the heated kissing, Ziva's hand found Jenny's breast. She moaned into Ziva's mouth as she gripped at her breast, caressing her nipple with her thumb.

"Ziva…" Jenny gasped as the hand slipped under her tank top. Ziva didn't answer, she let her hands wander freely over her body, caressing her breasts and gripping at her skin. Something felt wrong. She suddenly realized, the woman on top of her, caressing her breasts and with her hand on her way down between her legs, was a friend, one of her agents. She'd been very clear to Gibbs about the fact that there couldn't be anything between them. But yet she was here with Ziva. It was the exact same situation; she was having an affair with one of her employees. _'Oh crap! I told Jethro off, yet I'm lying here with Ziva! This isn't right! We can't do this,'_

"Ziva," she said again, not in a gasp of pleasure, but in a tone of voice that held a warning. Ziva's head shot up from Jenny's bare stomach, she'd pushed up her tank top in order to reach her fair skin. "Please get off me,"

Ziva didn't move, or made any sigh that she was going to. She stared in shock at Jenny, who she knew just moments ago had been close to begging her of doing this to her. Hurt began to grow inside of her as she met Jenny's ice cold gaze.

"Jen, what is it?" she asked softly, reaching up her hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek. Jenny closed her eyes under the touch. _'I want to, I really do. But we can't. It's not right,'_ she put her own hand on top of Ziva's, holding them gently against her skin. Then the rage came upon her. She griped around the hand and took them off her cheek, and then she pushed herself further up the couch, away from Ziva.

"Just go, this was a mistake," she said, feeling the tears burn behind her eyelids. It hurt to tell Ziva off like this, but she had no other choice.

"You're the one who started it! You told me this was what you wanted!" Ziva felt anger mixed with hurt fill up her body, numbing her heart.

"Well, obviously I was wrong!"

"I know you liked it, and I know you'd want more. What's holding you back, Jen? What are you afraid of?" Ziva shouted, jumping up from the couch and fixed her tank top.

"No, it didn't feel right. And I'm not afraid!" Jenny snapped, though she knew they were all lies. She had liked it, and she feared doing something wrong that could jeopardize her career, or if Gibbs would find out… All she could think about right now was that she could not sleep with Ziva.

"I want you to leave me alone," she said, a little calmer, but in a stern and cold tone of voice.

"I thought you didn't want to be alone. I thought you needed me," Ziva said, hurt replaced the anger in her voice.

"Just go," Jenny look down at her hands in her lap; she couldn't stand the pain in Ziva's eyes. It became silent. When she finally felt she had to look up, her eyes found Ziva retreating from her living room. The next second she heard the front door slam shut behind her. Jenny crawled deeper up in the corner of the couch, pulling the blanket on top of her. She sat in silence for a long while. Thinking about the way she'd treated Ziva. She regretted it. She regretted everything she'd done. Except the part where they'd kissed.

She felt trapped underneath the cotton blanket, she felt like she was being suffocated. She rose from the couch, pacing back and forth with her forehead resting in her hand. _'What the hell have I gotten myself into? She's never gonna forgive me! Hell, I'm never gonna forgive myself…Ahhrgg!' _

In her wave of rage, she reached out toward the empty wine bottle. It fell. Shattered. She stared at the pieces of broken glass on her carpet. That's just how she felt. Broken.

She turned away from the mess she'd created and went over to the cabinet. She opened up another bottle of wine. She'd never felt so alone in her entire life.

_**To be continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Jenny groaned, placing her hand against her forehead before she even opened her eyes. She woke up with the mother of all hangovers. Her body laid spread out over the couch, the blanket only covering half her legs. She'd managed to finish more than half the second wine bottle before passing out last night. _'Oh crap! What the…?'_ she thought, opening her eyes. First all she saw was a blur, blinking a few times before her living room slowly came into focus. With her hand still pressed against her forehead, she stubbornly managed to sit herself up. With a pounding headache and upcoming nausea she reached out to pick up her cell phone off the table. She turned it on. She was met by five missed calls, three messages from Cynthia and two from Gibbs.

"Oh crap!" she cursed to herself as she checked the clock. It showed 08:39. She was late. _Really _late. And she'd missed a meeting. "Well, that's what you get from drinking one and a half bottle of wine, Jenny!" she mumbled. Then a flashback came to her, a flash back containing her, and Ziva. On her couch. Kissing. _'Oh my God…Damn it, it couldn't have happened!'_ But she knew too well it had been for real, she remembered the argument, every word she had said. In one of her fantasies, the night would not have ended like that.

Suddenly, she covered her mouth with her hand, and ran off toward the down stairs bathroom to throw up. Defeated, she flushed the toilet and sat with her back against the wall, eyes closed. She felt the tears escape from under her eyelids. She didn't even bother to try and stop them. She called out in surprise when her cell phone started ringing; she was still holding it in a convulsive grip in her hand. Checking the caller-id, it said _"Jethro", _she reluctantly decided to pick up, or he'd soon show up on her door step, wondering why she didn't return any of his calls.

"Hey," she answered, her voice thick and she soon realized she was not sounding like herself.

"Jen? Finally, I've been calling you all morning. Are you alright?" she could hear a mix of relief and concern in his voice. She suddenly understood he must have been worried because of what happened yesterday.

"Yeah… Yes, I'm fine, Jethro," she mumbled, and then she began to wonder if he'd even heard her speak, he was not answering. "Yes, I'm fine," she tried to put some more strength into her voice, but she still sounded tired and not completely well.

"Yeah, I heard you. But you don't sound fine, Jen. Far from. Are you sick or something? Taking the day off?" he asked softly, his gentle tone surprised her.

"No, no I'm not sick, and I'm not taking the day off," she sighed, pulling herself off the floor by using the toilet as help. She stared into the mirror; she really did look like crap.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Jethro. I'm coming in as soon as I'm ready. Tell that to Cynthia," she didn't even have the strength to sound angry with him, she almost wished she could see the look on his face right now. Just the thought put a small smile upon her lips.

"But Jen…" he began saying, but she cut him off by, in true Gibbs fashion, disconnecting the call.

She rummaged through the bathroom cabinets until she finally found a couple of aspirins. She swallowed them with some water. _'I need a shower,'_ she thought and began to undress. It hurt as Ziva's picture floated into her mind. With her eyes closed, she tried to force her face out of her mind. It didn't work. Reluctantly, she stepped into the shower cabinet, still seeing Ziva before her eyes.

Forty-five minutes, lots of make up and a couple of more aspirins later, Jenny finally stepped through the door to the NCIS building. She even managed to fire off a smile at the guard when she arrived, despite the pounding in her head. He returned her greeting with a nod. She entered the elevator to go up to her office, _'This is going to be a long day…'_

The elevator stopped and the doors opened to reveal Gibbs. He met her eyes, looking slightly surprised at seeing her. Nevertheless he stepped inside, waiting until the doors closed before speaking to her.

"So, you made it?" he asked, carefully studying her with his pale blue eyes. His piercing gaze reminded her of Ziva's last night, and she had to look away, didn't want to be reminded of what she had done.

"Yeah, I did," she replied, not even in the mood of coming up with a snappy comment.

"But you don't look so hot," he stated, she quickly glanced up at him. Seeing the worry in his eyes, she realized she was never any good at keeping her feelings a secret from him.

"I'm fine. Really, Jethro," she assured him, stepping past him through the doors, heading toward her office. She cursed silently as he followed her.

"Jen…Jen!" he called out, reaching out to grab her by the shoulder. He twirled her around so she was finally facing him. They stood close, much closer than she'd like, she was practically pressed against his chest. With a stern expression on her face, she took a step back. The hand on her shoulder prevented her from moving further away from him. Unfortunately, the closeness had resulted in him feeling her breath on his face.

"Jen, just how much did you drink last night?" He frowned as he smelled her breath. Furiously, she tried to free herself from him. He tightened his grip and didn't give in.

"Jethro, my office. Now!" she snapped, turned away from him and led the way toward her office. Jenny glanced down over the squad room; she came to an abrupt halt, causing Gibbs to walk straight into her from behind.

"Ouch, Jen!" he called out, gripping at her upper arms so she wouldn't fall over. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she quickly replied and continued to walk fast, putting some distance between herself and Gibbs. She had just met Ziva's gaze. The hurt she'd seen in her eyes had been like a dagger to her heart. But the fury… she understood Ziva must have been quite humiliated last night, and she knew she deserved the guilt she felt. Though that knowledge didn't make it easier for her. She couldn't help but to wonder what Ziva was thinking when she saw her together with Gibbs, and especially seeing as how close they'd been. She walked as fast as she could, with her high heels and pounding headache. And he still had a hard time keeping up with her. She rushed past Cynthia, who looked relieved upon the sight of her Director, and she'd just been about to follow her into her office, when Gibbs showed up behind her, glaring at her. She had been through enough of these situations to realize this would not be a good time to interrupt, so she quickly fell back into her chair and reached for the ringing phone.

Gibbs slammed the door shut behind him, the sound cut painfully through Jenny's already aching head.

"Jethro, please," she mumbled before he could say something. She stood with her back against her desk, her beckoned for her to join him on the couch. Reluctantly, she obeyed and stiffly sank down onto the leather couch next to him.

"So," he began, the softness in his voice had her surprised, but she'd learned that Leroy Jethro Gibbs, despite his sometimes difficult character, really did care about the people in his life. That he had proven to her yesterday, when he against all odds had found a way to save her.

"How are you, after everything that happened?" he asked, genuinely concerned about her wellness.

'_If only you knew just what really has happened…But I could never be honest with you, not on this matter. You can never know what I did to Ziva,'_ she thought, but no words slipped over her lips. Gibbs waited patiently in silence for her to speak. At last, she couldn't stand the pressing silence.

"I – I felt a bit…shaken up…when I got home last night," she admitted to him with out meeting his gaze. Though all of what she'd said was true, there was more to her situation than he should know.

"You could have called me, Jen,"

"No, I couldn't. You couldn't have fixed it anyway," that was also true, he could not have given her the company she needed. And when the only person who actually could have made her feel better had come, she had screwed everything up.

"Why not?" he questioned. She closed her eyes, thinking, _'Please, don't ask any more questions!'_

"I can't tell you," she replied, opening her eyes, staring straight into his.

"Jen, stop being so difficult," she heard in his voice he was starting to get frustrated with her. She didn't really care. She just wanted him to leave her alone. Even though alone was the last thing she wanted to be. But his company was too dangerous, too tempting. Just like Ziva's. She couldn't afford any more screw-ups. She flinched involuntarily as he placed his hand on top of her hand.

"You know I'm here for you. You know I meant what I said on the day you became Director, I've missed you, Jen. All you have to do is change your statement," he slipped his fingers around hers, hugging her hand tightly. His other hand flew up to her face, gently caressing her cheek.

"Please say yes," he begged her, forcing her to meet his pale blue eyes. When they locked their eyes together, the contraction in her throat blocked the word she'd been about to say. Instead, her head tilted down in something Gibbs took as a nod of agreement. With a still smile upon his lips, he leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. _'No!'_ her mind screamed, she knew she had been about to tell him no, but no words would slip over her lips. And now she had his lips onto hers. She couldn't even find the strength to push him away; she let them stay together, at least she wasn't alone.

Gibbs reluctantly pulled away from her when his cell phone began to ring. He shot her an apologetic glance before rising up to answer. Thirty seconds later he hung up, explaining to her he had gotten a case, and therefore had to run. When he shut the door behind himself, she felt even more broken. Broken with pain, and even more torn apart then before. As usual, Gibbs' kisses had the power to intoxicate her mind, make her forget the whole world, but him. But this time, that had been all she felt. Not the physical desire she used to get, not the rush of adrenaline through her veins or the increase of her heartbeats.

Her head shot up as the door to her office burst open, she was half expecting to see Gibbs again, but she gasped in surprise upon the sight of Ziva.

"Ziva…" she whispered, too shocked to say anything else. She was afraid. Not sure if she wanted to know what she had to say to her right now.

"Director," Ziva greeted coolly, holding up a folder. "I brought a case report for you. I was supposed to give it to Gibbs first," she explained and looked around in the office, "I saw him walking in here with you, where is he now?"

"He – he just left. You didn't see him?" Jenny said, she should have realized Ziva had not come up here to talk about last night.

"No, he must have taken the elevator," Ziva figured, throwing down the report onto Jenny's desk.

"His phone rang, said it was a case," Jenny filled her in.

"Then I probably should be going then," she said and turned to leave.

"Ziva," Jenny's voice called out, making her turn around. Jenny swallowed; she wasn't sure how to say this. "About last night…"

"Save it, Jenny," Ziva said, her voice as cold as ice. "I don't want to hear any apologizes. I came because I though you needed my help, I was right. I do desire you, I really do. You're the sexiest woman I've ever met, and I took my shot, because you were in on it too. Then you dismissed me. I have noting more to say to you other than you hurt me Jen, you really hurt me. Because I'm in love with you," Ziva finished, then turned abruptly on her heels and left her office.

Jenny sat like frozen on the couch. Staring into thin air. Thinking about Gibbs. And Ziva. The two people that desired her right now. And she knew who she wanted. Only in reality, she couldn't have either of them, it was against the rules. Her rules. She had already hurt Ziva, and she was on a good way of hurting Gibbs just as badly. She started to cry. She couldn't see a way out of this mess she'd created for herself.

_**To be continued…**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

Jenny had vacated her office for a moment, as she was sick of sitting in there, barely able to concentrate on all the papers and files that now lay spread all over her desk. She had to take a break. As it was raining heavily outside, she had decided to go to the small cafeteria inside the NCIS building for coffee. It wasn't the best coffee in the world, but it was good enough to survive on. While pouring herself a cup of the quite decent coffee, she realized too late someone was coming up behind her, and before she could withdraw herself, she felt a hand on the small of her back and a much stronger body beside her.

"What the…" she began, her words blocked by the contraction in her throat upon the sight of Gibbs, she turned her head and stared right into his pale blue eyes, they were much closer to her than she'd wanted, much closer than was good for either of them.

"Jethro, what the hell are you doing?" she said when she was finally capable of forming a decent sentence.

"Thought you might need a massage," he said in a low rumble as his hands slipped up her back to her shoulders and began rubbing in slow, powerful strokes. She instantly felt herself relax under his touch, and for a brief moment flashing back to Europe, he'd given her massages loads of times, she easily tensed, and he'd always had the skill to ease her up.

"Jethro, please… no…" she started in a weak, pleading voice, attempting to push him away, but realized she was too late when she heard another voice call her name. The voice of the one person that should not be seeing this. Jenny turned her head violently to her left, her eyes finding Ziva who had pulled to a quick halt upon the suspicious sight of Gibbs standing pressed against Jenny's back, his hands resting in her neck.

Ziva had thought she'd seen Jenny leave her office and gone to get herself some coffee. She regretted they way they had left things up in her office earlier in the day, and she longed to have an honest conversation with her. Though she hadn't expected to find this.

"Jen…?" she spoke again, not quite sure what to make of the situation she'd walked in on. One thing she knew was that the director and Gibbs was standing awfully close, too close.

"Ziva…" Jenny breathed, trying to push Gibbs' hands off of herself, but he refused to let her go. It wasn't until she said, "Jethro, get off me, please," in a pleading voice that he reluctantly withdrew his hands from her body and watched her take few steps towards Ziva.

"Ziva, this is not…" she began, but the other woman snorted and abruptly cut her off.

"Oh, Jen, drip it!" she hissed angrily and took a step back away from her. Jenny froze in her tracks.

"I think you meant to say drop it," she couldn't help but correct, which was a fatal mistake as it drew Ziva even madder.

"Oh, will you stop correcting my English?" she burst out and gestured widely with her hand in her annoyance.

"Ziva…" Jenny started again, but this time the Israeli held up her hand to stop her from speaking further, her eyes traveled from Gibbs and back to her.

"What are you doing, Jen?" Ziva asked with disbelief, and Jenny was very aware of how it must have looked like between her and Gibbs when Ziva arrived. She was even more aware of the curious look Gibbs was sending her; he watched the two women's interactions in silence. She couldn't answer Ziva's question truthfully if he was here listening. She didn't want to hurt him too. But she knew the truth eventually would have to come out, but this was not the time or the place for her to tell Gibbs she had feelings for someone else than him. Especially since he was sure she housed the same feelings towards him as he did for her. Ziva's words pulled her abruptly from her thoughts.

"Are you screwing Gibbs now?" she burst out in a mix of anger and hurt, her dark brown eyes once again shifted from him to her.

"No, Ziva. It's not like that…" Jenny tried to explain, but her voice was feeble and not enough to have her convince. She felt she was forced to hold back on what she said as long as Gibbs was here.

"Jen…" Gibbs' voice suddenly interrupted their argument. "What the hell…?"

"Shut up, Jethro!" Jenny practically shouted and held up her hand in a warning to silence him.

"That what is it, Jen? It sure looked like you two are up to something. Am I that easy to move on from? Did last night mean nothing to you? Of course it didn't! You wouldn't have kicked me out of your house if I did, now would you?" Ziva suddenly exploded, and when she was finished, the room was filled with an awkward silence. Jenny was staring directly at Ziva, who was panting slightly after her outburst, too shocked to say anything in response. And she didn't dare glancing at Gibbs, as she was sure he must have understood just what Ziva was talking about. Still with her eyes burning furiously, the young Israeli turned abruptly on her heels and disappeared through the hallway, leaving Jenny alone with Gibbs.

Jenny stared down at her feet, not daring to meet his gaze, not wanting to know what he thought about her right now. But after what felt like eternity, she couldn't help but to glance up, if only too check if he was still there. She realized she was holding her breath, wishing he would be gone, but she'd learned that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not that easy to get rid off. He stood leaning against a table, his eyes set upon her, their icy blue color made chills run up and down her spine.

"Jethro…" she began hesitantly, but he wouldn't even give her a chance to finish her sentence before he interrupted.

"So, if I got that correctly…" he stopped there, not really sure how to put all his thoughts into words that would make a decent sentence. Jenny stayed silent, waiting for him to finish.

"What, exactly, happened last night, with you and Ziva?" he finally asked, frowning as he eyed her suspiciously, "Or, is that one of those things I wouldn't wanna know about?"

"You wouldn't want to know," she confirmed to him, lowering her gaze. Not that she was shamed of that, but she feared what she would be hearing next.

"Right. And us, in your office this morning? Be honest with me Jen, and tell me what you felt about that," his voice was not loud, but it was as clear and chilly as ice, echoing harshly through her ears.

"You can't ask this of me now, Jethro. I need to find a way to fix things with Ziva…" she raised her head and met his gaze, she opened her mouth to continue, but he beat her to it.

"Damn it, Jen!" he yelled, "Just what did you do with her last night? Why the hell are you two fighting? And if you feel so strongly about her, then why didn't you say no to me this morning? Why the _hell_ are you playing me like this?"

"I tried to say no! But damn it, did you give me a chance? I never meant for that to happen, Jethro. It was a mistake I deeply regret," she shouted just as loud as he had, not thinking that anyone could come by and hear their argument, right now she was just so pissed off she didn't care who heard, and she didn't care how badly she would hurt Gibbs. "I was upset, over what I had done last night to Ziva. You had no right to put me in that situation. Couldn't you tell I wanted you to leave me?"

"No, the hell I couldn't! Now you listen to _me_! I noticed you were upset, yes, and I was merely trying to understand what the hell was wrong with you. I could tell you had been drinking, and after what you went through yesterday, I don't blame you. I kept thinking about heading to your house all night, but I didn't, I gave you your privacy, do you blame me for wanting to check if you were okay when you came in late this morning?" he was still radiating anger, but he wasn't shouting any longer. He inhaled heavily when he'd finished speaking, glaring furiously at her, waiting for a response.

"I did expect you to come, but you didn't. Ziva did, and I realized that she's the company I wanted, or, still want, actually. But I let her down…" her voice broke and she once again turned her gaze away.

"Well, isn't that what you do best? Leaving, after you got what you want?" he hadn't intended on saying those words, it surprised him as much as it surprised her; they just slipped over his lips, unstoppable. "I – I… Jen... I didn't…" he stuttered out, not knowing if he should apologize or not. Surely he was angry at her, but he'd never expected to hear himself say those words to her face.

"Oh, the hell you did! Don't come saying you're sorry, Jethro!" she tried to sound angry, but didn't quite succeed as she was still fairly shocked over his outburst. "You don't know the truth, you can come judging me just like that," she continued and stared into his eyes. This time, he was the one to look away, if only for a brief second, then his icy blue eyes found hers again.

"And you're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No, because it's none of your business,"

"No, it's not, not anymore. Good luck with your new girlfriend," the anger had shifted to hurt and sarcasm in the last sentence. With one last glance at his former partner, he turned and left her standing alone in the room. Her lips were slightly parted, as though she was about to say something, but not able to make up her mind. She certainly had screwed this one up. As she reflected back on the previous minutes intense arguing, she knew she had lost both Ziva and Gibbs, probably forever. Who would ever forgive her now?

_To be continued…_


End file.
